Invisible Shadow
by AJLITE
Summary: Hazel's life is falling apart and as she battles with her inner demons she must choose between life and death itself.
1. Dear Diary

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.  
  
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*Hazel's POV*  
  
Dear Diary,  
It was the night before school and I'm a nervous wreck; I always was. Paige is the calm one and I'm her shadow because of it. As far back as I remember I backed Paige on everything from cloths to how to think. Spinner jokes around a lot about it and calls me Paige number two but he doesn't know it hurts. Who can blame him for me not having a mind of my own?  
  
I remember the summer before grade eight and Ashley had took the ecstasy her brother Toby had gotten. At the time, she was dating Jimmy and I was so jealous. Jimmy is super hot, loaded, romantic, and popular. I told Paige but she just dismissed me. She wasn't suppose to have anyone at the house and Paige persuaded her to have a few friends over for an intimate gathering. Well it got out of hand when she decided to invite everyone, but I didn't say anything. Well, while Ash was upstairs "getting some water" she and Sean swooped spit Jimmy found out. Sean ran out, and Ashley went off on Jimmy saying that she should have broken up with him on his birthday. Then the funniest thing happened Ashley called Paige a hag I thought I was going to die but I held it all in. Paige and everyone else except Terri left and I follow her. I stayed quiet unless she wanted to prove her point by saying "yes Paige" and "you're so right Paige".  
  
Then grade eight came and Ashley screwed up again we made her life hell on earth even though I totally disagreed with whole thing. Paige said we should call her vampire since Ash went Goth. Now she has some new friends Ellie, Marco, and Craig. I think it's cool Ash and Ellie has their own style and I respect them for it. Once again, Paige thinks it's dumb and says that the only style that is cool is her style. I once again, nod and say your right. This grade seven named Manuela, well Manny for short tired out for the sprit squad and she was popin'. Paige started letting her hang out with us and started giving her praise about being the star of the show. I got jealous but I didn't say anything. Later in the gym Paige and I tore interest section, Manny came in and helped. Later while I came out of the bathroom, Mr. Simpson came up and gave me two-week detention for ripping the pages out the newspaper. I wondered if he punished Paige and Manny too. The next day Manny came and told me about happened in the computer Lab and what she said to Paige. How could my best friend do that?  
  
That isn't the worst of my problems I was in love with Marco then he totally dissed me for Ellie. There was a good side to that I could fully turn my attention to Jimmy for a while. Once again, that backfired and he went for Ashley who is now friends with us again. That didn't work out to well because they had both had time to grow and change and they weren't right for each other anymore. As a group, we decided to go on a camping trip to the beach and Jimmy and I totally bonded. It was a perfect weekend and then Monday came. Marco asked me on a date, well Spinner and Paige were going to be there but it was still a date all the same. We were having a great time until Ellie walked in and Marco got all nervous and stuff so he got up for drinks. I decided to get up and help him when he and Ellie's eyes were locked. Next Marco made this excuse to leave, and when he was gone, Spinner followed him. Paige didn't even comfort me she just shrugged and left me there alone. Later I found out that he was gay! Why does every guy I fall for has either a girlfriend or gay. I have to go there's the doorbell, its Paige and she doesn't like to be kept waiting.  
  
-Hazel  
  
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AN: This is a story about Hazel and her true feelings. Hope you liked it and the first chapter is coming up. Please talk among ourselves about my story otherwise...review! 


	2. Acting For Her

Disclaimer: none  
  
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I ran down the stairs to get to the door in time so Paige wouldn't  
freak. This was the first time she even been to my house, and I hope it  
doesn't give her a bad impression of me.  
  
Believe me in the past six years since grade seven everyone has made  
changes some more drastic than others. Paige is five foot seven, weighs  
hundred and fifteen pounds, and has gotten a tan over the summer. She  
has filled out over the years and she not a chubby as she use to be.  
  
"Hi Paige come-," before I could finish Paige through her jacket in my  
face and just invited herself in.  
  
"Haze is anyone home?" she said going through the draws of the study.  
  
"No, their gone let me give you a tour of the house," I said  
distracting her from being nosy.  
  
"Okay," she said following me.  
  
*Paige's POV*  
  
'Hazel's real uneasy tonight I hope nothings wrong,' I thought as we  
entered the main hallway.  
  
About ten minutes later, we have been through the whole house and it  
looked like it had come out a magazine. Then while we were up stairs,  
we came to this door on the opposite side of the hallway.  
  
"Is this your room?" I said pointing to the door, she said yes and  
opened it. My mouth practically dropped at the site of what I saw next.  
  
Hazel's room was absolutely gorgeous; her walls were light pink with  
lighter pink curse writing all over. She had a coffee color slay bed  
with pink sheet and comforter that matched the walls and drapes. Hazel  
had a spacious walk in closet with a closet full of cloths; some nice  
and some hideous. Hazel had a coffee colored dresser that had make-up,  
tickets, picture frames scattered on it.  
  
I turned and saw this interesting pink diary on her and decided to mess  
with her. I picked up the diary and she snapped.  
  
*Hazel's POV*  
  
"What the hell are doing Paige?! That's private," I yelled grabbing  
the book away from her and closing/locking it.  
  
"Whoa chill I didn't read anything its not like your life is worth  
reading. You're so boring. Anyway let's pick you out and outfit for  
tomorrow because the ones you pick are just stupid," Paige spoke.  
  
I can't believe she just said that. How could she say that? I feel  
cheated out of life because of this wench.  
  
"Haze stop daydreaming and come and help me. I'm doing this for your  
own good."  
  
'No your doing this for your own good," I thought as I went to help  
her.  
  
Later that night after Paige went to sheep in the guest bedroom I  
decided write in my diary.  
  
Dear Diary,  
Well, Paige is here and she won't let up I mean tonight told me I  
was stupid and I had no life. Why do I put up with her? Sometimes I  
wish I had a magic wand so I could make her disappear better yet I  
would make me go away. No one wants me here no one notices me except if  
Paige is there. My parents are never around and if they are, their  
drinking and I know from past mistakes that's when I avoids them. It  
feels like I don't know myself anymore if I do it feels as if I am  
acting for her.  
  
-Hazel  
  
Well it's the first day of school in my car and Paige is complaining  
about Spinner again. She's mad because her and Spinner broke up and he  
won't leave her alone. Until Paige got Dylan to personally, give him  
the message for her.  
  
We pull up to DCS and get out the first person we see is Jimmy pulling  
up in his black Bentley. My heart sunk three times when I saw him. He  
also grew up now standing at a whooping five nine weighing hundred  
fifty pounds which was visible muscle. He had on this All-star jersey  
with blue Gucci jeans with white converses.  
  
(AN: If you don't recognize the out then watch the Cameron video. You  
should know by now that Jimmy parents are loaded, so everything he  
wears is real. )  
  
*Jimmy's POV*  
  
"Hey Paige," I said giving her a hug.  
  
Then out the corner of my eye, I see Hazel Aden looking like a goddess  
of the forbidden fruit. Hazel was now five foot eight and weighed in at  
hundred and twenty pounds. She was wearing this sexy white graffiti  
tang top with low ride denim DKNY jeans with a belt that said hottie  
and some white kicks. Her hair was crimped with a white apple hat on  
head. Her jean jacket was hanging over her shoulder with her with Gucci  
bag hang at her side.  
  
I continued to hug Paige to avoid getting big off my friend. I've had  
this crush on her ever since the 10th grade, damn she's hot.  
  
Haze rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth.  
  
"Sorry Haze didn't see you there," I said lying straight through my  
teeth, but attempting to give her a hug anyway.  
  
"No one does," she whispered and walked away.  
  
"What's up with her?"  
  
"I don't know let me go see," Paige says.  
  
*Hazel's POV*  
  
"Hazel!" I heard someone yelling behind me. I turned to see Paige, here  
we go.  
  
"Hazel that was totally rude," Paige said.  
  
"Sorry, it won't happen again," I said giving in to her once again.  
  
"Come we have tons more people to see in so little time," Paige spoke  
stalking into school.  
  
Therefore, I turned and followed like the shadow I was.  
  
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How did you guys like that good stuff. Well if you didn't review  
anyway. TaTa 


	3. Passing Notes

Disclaimer: When I said Jimmy weighed 150 I meant 175, moving on.  
  
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Paige walks up ahead of me and that's mean I will be alone in the  
middle of the hallway. Every time I'm alone I feel like people are  
laughing at me, especially Jimmy. It's my senior year and I still  
feel...  
  
"Haze...you okay," Jimmy says touching my arm with his smooth hand.  
  
"Oh yeah I was thinking about...you," holy shit why did I say that.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I meant I was thinking about you...know our senior year."  
  
"Right," Jimmy says then walks away.  
  
Jimmy probably thinks I'm a freak that's why he walked away.  
  
I get a little further down the hallway and everyone is surrounding  
Ashley and laughing at her jokes. No one likes me well I can't be rude  
better say hi.  
  
"Hey guys," I say approaching the group. All they did is stare at me  
then Terri and Spinner were the only one to have the guts to say 'hi'.  
  
The bell rung so we all went to first period. Mr. Armstrong. I sat in  
the back of the classroom, Jimmy sat next to me, and I could smell his  
cologne. Half way through the class Jimmy decided to pass notes with  
me!  
  
Jimmy: Hey  
  
Hazel: What's up?  
  
Jimmy: How was ur summer?  
  
Hazel: It was ok. My parents took me 2 Hawaii. What did u do?  
  
Jimmy: I toured Europe with the rents.  
  
Hazel: U hook up with anyone?  
  
Jimmy: Umm... no. How bout u?  
  
Hazel: No, not a lot of boys find interest in me.  
  
Jimmy: What the hell r u talking bout. Ur beautiful, funny, and smart.  
  
Hazel: Thanks even though I know ur just trying 2 be a good friend.  
  
Jimmy: Haze if you were a hag I would be the one to tell you.  
  
Hazel: Whatever...  
  
Jimmy: No, I'm serious.  
  
Hazel didn't get a chance to reply because the bell rung for second  
period.  
  
*LUNCH*  
  
*Jimmy's POV*  
  
I can't believe Hazel said that I would be insane not to go for her.  
  
I went to go sit with Marco, Spinner, Ellie, Craig, Ash, Paige, Hazel,  
and Terri. Everybody's having his or her own conversations about  
nothing so I key on Hazel's.  
  
"Hazel look at that pathetic grade nine, that outfit is so last year,"  
Paige criticizes a nice looking girl.  
  
"Yeah right," Hazel said with a fake laugh.  
  
Maybe one day she will get a mine of her own and tell Blondie off.  
  
*Hazel's POV*  
  
Well the bell just rung for everyone to go home. I gave Paige a ride to  
her place then went home.  
  
Dear Diary,  
Today Jimmy totally complimented me and said I was beautiful. He  
couldn't stop staring at me in eighth period but when I told Paige, she  
said I was delirious and no one wanted me. Especially Jimmy. When I got  
home me mom was shooting up again so I had to tuck her in. Even though  
I'm use to her not taking care of me, I wish someone would. Dad is  
always out drinking or on missions. He's a peacekeeper like Ellie's  
dad. I have to go it's getting late and I have homework. Night.  
  
-Hazel 


	4. Beatings & Boyfriends

Disclaimer: From this point on in the story, this will be in scene write text. Therefore, that means that the spelling & grammar will be off. It will still have POV and still be in story format.  
  
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Hazel's POV  
  
I have just finished my homework and my mom called me down for dinner. I changed into a white button down dress shirt, black knee length skirt, brown tights and black dress Mary Jane's. The table was sit for two, which was worse just mom and me.  
  
Diana: How was school today Hazel?  
  
Hazel: (Wow, she actually remembered I go to school.) Fine.  
  
Diana: Fine, is that how you speak to me!  
  
Hazel: I mean fine mother dearest.  
  
Diana: You know Hazel maybe you are acting this way because your father isn't around as he should be.  
  
Hazel: No, mom I have just had a lot of stress lately.  
  
Diana: You are a child, and children do not have stress. Now what do you say?  
  
Hazel: (What the hell, does she know about my life?) Yes...mother dearest.  
  
Diana: Good now finish your peas. Hazel I met this nice man at the office his name is Robert.  
  
Hazel: (Oh, my un holy crap! She is cheating on my father!) Okay, what does this have to do with me?  
  
Diana: We are all going out for dinner this Friday and it will be great.  
  
Hazel: What about dad?!  
  
Diana: What about dad? He's out of town in Africa and won't be back until November. We have two and a half months to kill, and Robert will keep us busy until then.  
  
Hazel: Well I won't have any part in this mom! (I say jumping up from the table.)  
  
Diana: I am not asking you to have any part in it. I'm asking you to keep this our little secret. (She said walking toward Hazel shoving her into the basement.)  
  
Hazel: If I don't, what will happen then? (Hazel mentally kicked herself for challenging her mother, knowing what was going to happen next.)  
  
Diana: Or you will upset me and you know what happens when I get upset. (She said grabbing the iron next to the cupboard.)  
  
My POV  
  
Diana opened the basement down and pushed Hazel down the steps onto the concrete causing a bruise on her jaw. Her mother walked over to the socket and waited for the iron to do this.  
  
Hazel's POV  
  
Diana: Why do you make me do this Hazel? Why can't you be a good girl? Don't you love me? (She said slapping me across the face.)  
  
Hazel: Of course...I do. I love you...please...mommy...don't do this! (I sobbed as mom pulled me to the iron and slapped me one more good time.)  
  
Diana: Too late Hazel dear.  
  
My POV  
  
Diana rolled up Hazel's shirt and ran the steaming hot iron over her back. Hazel screamed and tussled, only making it worst.  
  
Hazel's POV  
  
Diana: Don't scream you'll wake the neighbors! (I stayed quiet hoping it were over soon.)  
  
My POV After ten minutes of pain, it was finally over and Diana pulled Hazel into her arms in an attempt to coo her tears away.  
  
Diana: Baby momma is so sorry. It wouldn't have happened if you were a good child. (She said rubbing Hazels badly burned back.  
  
Diana carried Hazel up the stairs to her room and laid her there for recuperation. After she had gone Hazel lied there in excruciating pain, then she reached for her diary and began to write.  
  
Hazel's POV  
  
Dear Diary,  
If I were a bird, I would fly away from this shit hole. Mom freaked and dragged a hot iron over my back for twelve minutes. How am I going to hide these burns from everyone tomorrow? I can barely move she put Neosporin on my back but it still hurts. Why do I have to hurt so much? She has this date with this guy from work. She's cheating on my father; I don't care if he is in Africa. I wish my brother Drew was here. He would never let mom hurt me. I have to go I her mom coming. Night.  
  
-Hazel  
  
Next Morning  
  
I woke up this morning to my mother's face looking...not stoned but calm and concerned for my safety. She hasn't done this since dad left...maybe she is trying to make amends for what she did...or maybe she's trying to butter me up. I don't care either way as long as she doesn't hit me again.  
  
Diana: Hazy...baby mommy is so sorry what she did. I want you to stay home for the rest of the week to get better. (I knew it there was something behind this. as long as no one sees the hurt no one could question the pain.)  
  
Hazel: Thank you mommy dearest... (I said closing my eyes into a dreamless sleep of nothingness.)  
  
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Wow! That was a deep chapter! What do you have to say?  
  
I own the character Drew and his girlfriend Laurel.  
  
The relationship parings you will/might see are:  
  
Hazel/Jimmy Ashley/Jimmy Marco/Dylan Ellie/ Sean Craig/Manny Paige/Gavin a.k.a Spinner Emma/Chris Kendra/Toby Jt/Liberity Terri/Spinner  
  
(AN: I haven't worked all the kinks out yet.) BYE! 


	5. Close Incounter of Ellie's Kind

Disclaimer: I know the grammar is messed up but it will workout.  
  
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Diana: Ha...zel you wake up. (I opened my eyes to see my mother  
completely out of it with a bottle of Vodka in one hand and a cigarette  
in the other.)  
  
Diana: Come on now...wes got a big day ahead of us. (She said  
stumbling toward me and attempting to sit down but fell toward the  
floor and laughed.)  
  
I caught her before she hit and dragged mom to her bed under the  
sheets. It's was Friday and we had gotten beautified all week long;  
moreover, tonight was the big night. When mom was like this God only  
knows what she can do, so I got ready for school. I'm a little nervous  
when Ellie came to give me my home assignments on Thursday there was a  
close in counter of her finding out what my mom had done to me.  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
'Knock knock'  
  
Diana: Hazel get the damn door already! (So much for House on the  
Prairie the Ice Queen is back.)  
  
Hazel: Yes mother dearest.  
  
I opened it to she Ellie and I panicked, I expected it to be the mail  
carrier or milkman. Shit, give me something to work with I was still in  
my bathrobe for craps sake.  
  
Hazel: Ellie what are you doing here, it's only 10:45 school isn't out  
yet?  
  
Ellie: Actually it is...Spinner accidentally set a fire in the science  
room. He was mixing chemicals and trying to be funny. He told Paige to  
smell she got to close and it blow up in he  
face...burning...off...her...eyebrows...and the front part of the hair.  
(She said between laughs.)  
  
Then I laughed not a fake one but a full on natural laugh. Ellie looked  
at me stranger and stared at me as if I were an alien.  
  
Hazel: What, haven't you seen anyone laugh before?  
  
Ellie: Yeah...but not you. (She looked at the ground and so did I. We  
weren't meant to be friends even though it was nice talking to her she  
had to go.)  
  
Hazel: Um...was there something you needed. (I made sure she understood  
my tone of voice.)  
  
Ellie: I was told by Mr. Armstrong to deliver your home assignments to  
you personally. (Said those words and took a step forward, matching my  
tone as well.)  
  
Ellie shoved the books at me but not all made it and my history book  
fell. We both bent down to pick them up and the she had gotten to it  
first. When she stood up before me, my collar came down revealing me  
bruises.  
  
Ellie: Oh, my...everything that is holy. (She put her left hand over  
her mouth and the other on my bruises.  
  
Hazel: Please El you cannot tell anyone... (I said grabbing my belongs  
and rushing her off my porch.)  
  
Ellie: Who did that to you!?  
  
Hazel: None of your business! Just go away!  
  
Ellie: Not until you tell me what happen. (She said lowering her  
voice.)  
  
Hazel: My...my....my boyfriend. (I said pretending to cry in shame.)  
  
Ellie: You have to get out before he kills you. (She said shaking me.)  
  
Hazel: Okay...okay...I will. We must keep this between us, okay? (I  
pulled her into a hug.)  
  
Ellie: Fine. (She said looking away but holding me tighter.)  
  
After a second, we jumped away and chuckled. We said our good byes and  
walked away.  
  
*FLASHFORWARD*  
  
I blinked then headed to the shower and got dressed for school.  
  
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I know it's short but this chapter and the next will boil down to the  
big meeting with Robert. 


	6. Attack of the evil cheerleaders

Disclaimer: I know this seems like Ellie's life but you'll see the why chose this storyline soon.  
  
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Hazel  
  
As I pulled my car up to the school parking lot, I looked around for anyone one I knew then executed a perfect entrance to the back door without anyone seeing me, but no Paige had to fuck that up for me.  
  
"Hi, hon long time no see," she said putting her arm around me.  
  
Yeah, did you guys make up any new cheers? I did."  
  
"Yes Manny made up this awesome new routine with a whole lot of back flips and cartwheels, but we have to discuss something first," she said as I focused on her hair and her eyebrows. Paige had on a hat and had penciled in eyebrows.  
  
I chocked back a laugh and made an excuse about going to Kwan for some make up work.  
  
Then I decided to go to my locker and get my books and when I got there, Jimmy was waiting and it would have been perfect if it wasn't for Ashley. I rolled my eyes at them and did my combination, until Jimmy tapped me on the shoulder.  
  
"Hey Haze how are you feeling," he said with compassion and Ashley stared at me with a smirk his arm draped around her waist.  
  
"Fine. Why?"  
  
"Ellie told me-"  
  
"What!" I yelled and slammed the locker at the same time.  
  
"S-s-she said you had the flu and you couldn't come out of the house."  
  
I breathed a sigh of relief but instantly felt guilty for yelling at him.  
  
"Um...I'm sorry I've been under tons of stress lately and I have a...engagement to attend to ...with my...mother and her business...client. I'm a little nervous."  
  
"Well, don't be," he said rubbing my arm. It was an awkward but enjoyable moment.  
  
"So I mean what about you guys all cuddling and stuff," I said giving him a playful tap on the shoulder.  
  
"Naw...we're just chillin for now," he said giving Ashley an Eskimo kiss. (AN: No offense it was just a figure of speech.  
  
I chuckle then walk to first period before the bell rung. The first person my eyes locked on to was Ellie, so I go sit next to her and began to pass a note.  
  
*NOTE*  
  
H: hey  
  
E: hey  
  
H: u didn't tell anyone, did u?  
  
E: no but i will if u don't  
  
H: don't worry i will  
  
E: don't bullshit i no & u no there's no way u won't  
  
H: i have time  
  
E: no Haze...u don't  
  
H: wat iz dat suppose 2 mean  
  
E: u no wat it meanz  
  
*END NOTE*  
  
"Believe what you want but I'm okay and I don't need you help Ellie...God!" I said storming out of the classroom.  
  
Ellie  
  
I cannot believe she is being so pig headed right now. All I trying to do is help her, but hey if she want to be left alone then Hazel will get what she wants.  
  
"Um...El what was that all about?" Marco said walking beside me out the door.  
  
"Nothing...look I catch you after school," I said turning around but he caught my arm and looked into my eyes.  
  
"Are you sure?" he sad touching my cheek.  
  
"Yeah I'm sure," said pushing his hand away and walked steadily down the hall.  
  
Hazel  
  
After school there was practice and when I got there everyone was sitting on the benches so I got within two feet of them all heads turned toward me. Paige got up and so did the rest of the squad except Manny who had her head down.  
  
"What's going on?" I said with a slight chuckle.  
  
"Hazel a new year brings new things and with the new comes the old. Therefore, in honor of your last practice squad we have decided to let you meet your replacement from tryouts," I couldn't believe my ears they were getting rid of me.  
  
"Oh but don't worry we'll find something for you to do...you could be the manager. Doesn't that sound cool," she said with a laugh.  
  
"So without further a due Hazel meet your new replacement," then they all started to make way for her and to my surprise, it was Ashley!  
  
"Now I know you all have lost you damn minds! You picked Ashley to be my replacement, the bitch can barely yell let alone perform a routine. What I don't understand is why I need a replacement. What's going on is some fucking joke cause if it is this is not funny!" I yelled at them.  
  
"No it isn't and you are completely out of line here," Paige shot back.  
  
"I don't care...look Paige why are you replacing me in general."  
  
"The Regionals is in three weeks and at the competition there won't be time for screw ups and everyone knows that's your middle name, so after that you'll be back on the squad in no time. Ashley can yell and do cartwheels a hell of a lot better than you so live with it." Paige said looking me in face smirking at me. Then I turned to Ashley who looked victorious that conceited little bitch.  
  
"Oh but don't worry Hazel we'll still let you hang around us even though your a waste of space." Ashley said as if she was the queen of bitches. Oh wait she is.  
  
"Is this who you really feel...fine then I don't need any of you," I said storming of the gym to my car. 'What a Friday?' I thought driving home then I pulled into the driveway and raced to my room. Luckily, mom wasn't home or I'd have explain what was going on and she would kill me for being kicked off the squad.  
  
Dear Dairy,  
I was kicked off the cheerleading squad today by Ashley and Paige. I can't believe Ash would do this to me I use to think we we're friends. Her and Paige spent the summer together next thing you know she starting to act just like Paige. I mean everyone has changed so much even me. The sad thing is I can't talk to my mother about it. She was captain of the squad in her days, she would probably yell about how I am a complete hazard to my health. Oh shit its 6:30 Robert will be here at 9:00 to pick us up and mom calling me. Bye  
  
-Hazel  
  
Mom and I were almost ready, she is putting my hair in a bun and curling the lose ends. I was wearing a spaghetti V cut black dress. White and light brown designs flowing through the dress itself, and then I had on black high-heeled shoes. It got a little to quiet to her liking so she decided to talk to me.  
  
"How was your day back to school?"  
  
"Fine. Thank you for asking."  
  
"So you ready to meet Robert?"  
  
"Yes. If you don't mind me asking what is his last name."  
  
"Van Zandt."  
  
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Well that's it for now but...please remember to REVIEW! 


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